TRADEMARK - JOCO HO

In light of the upcoming great depression of the 21st century I would like to be on the front end of a few trademarked items. It is my hope that by trademarking the following word that I can support myself through the work of others during this time.

JOCO HO
Married woman between the ages of 25-35 years old that are currently married to men 15 years older than them. These women do not work, do not have kids, do not cook, do not clean and do not have any skills that could transfer into the work place. The only thing that the JOCO HO must do is look good for their husband and not get caught sleeping with the gardener.

In other words these women have been leased out for a period of 15 years in which they will be traded in for a newer model with different features. Making them whores.

With the recession/depression looming their husbands will soon start struggling to pay the bills and ask their wife to help out by getting a job.

What skills does this woman have other than sleeping with older men for money? None. So she will soon be out on the corner of 119th and Metcalf looking for johns to cover her starbucks addiction.

JOCO HO'S SOON TO BE EXPOSED

A truck load of Beauty products was stolen today in JOCO and with that the sounds of 40 something wannabe trophy wives screaming south of 135th street could be heard for miles away.

How will they face the world in their true skin?

What will their husbands do when they see them unpainted?

Will the grocery store manager still hit on them?

The police don't have a clue on where to look but they can go ahead and rule out looking in KCK. One truck load of makeup isn't enough to help the women there.

QUICK HITS

Lets face it, nobody watches the news on Friday night and most of you don't watch the news at all. Without me most of you would wonder around all day talking about the weather and the chiefs draft without a clue as to what is going on in your own backyard.

1. Fox news is now on board with my theory of the JOCO HO. This story just goes to prove that prostitution is only legal for the wealthy.

2. Pictures are now out demonstrating the power of Chris Browns pimp hand. This dudes career is over ahd he should be getting his ass kicked everyday in prison.

3. More details out about the Chimp attack. I know its wrong but I still think the 911 tape is freaking funny.

4. Even Bill Clinton thinks that Obama is spreading too much fear in order to get his way.

5. Your kid can now take over Citi Bank with his allowance money.

6. White Rappers in KC are doing battle. What a freaking joke this is. There may not be a more pathetic part of the JOCO metro areas population than white rappers.

7. Prisoner decides to cut off his well umm.....yeah, with a razor.

8. Those of you National Readers need to book your tickets to KCMO around the court date involving the Rodney Kinging of this guy. This could be your best time to go looting in the next year.

9. Isn't that a lot of weed for someone to have on a Teachers Salary?

10. If you are going to steal a vehicle it might be a good idea that you know how to drive it. Thanks for the Story Tony.

CAPTAIN SAVE A HO

Remember when fund raisers for HS kids consisted in the selling of candy, bake sales, popcorn or even the dreaded magazine subscriptions? Well those days have left us and have been replaced with JOCO parents pimping out their daughters. Every Saturday with the urging of their pimp parents these girls are put on corners, barely dressed, looking to solicit money from strangers for their services.

Sure they call it a "car wash" but who are they kidding? This is nothing more than modified strip club act. You see parents in JOCO are so competitive that they are willing to put their attractive daughters on display in order to raise "funds" so that little Katelyn and Ashley can go to Europe. Then when they raise the funds they tell the kids what great little "workers" they are and that they are so proud of them. But what the hell are they proud of? The fact that their kid shaked her ass and jumped up and down enough to get strange men to pull over?

What do these conversations sound like? "way to go honey now get your ass back on that corner and get me more money", " more bouncing sweetie, more bouncing", "less water on the cars and more on the girls", "NO YOU CANT WEAR YOUR ONE PIECE, SILLY HO!", "Don't give the money to the girls, you pay me".

Seriously this crap is too funny. I would post more regarding this subject but I need to go dirty up the truck agian......................

QUICK HITS

1. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE ARSON PROBLEM IN KC as more and more buildings are burned.

2. JOCO expands temporary housing for its KCK & KCMO visitors.

3. Could the Sprint cafeteria soon be serving dog?

4. Motorcyclist killed. RIP.

5. Thieves in KCK have no limits and are now they are stealing from freaking kids. Isn't it bad enough to be a kid in KCK? Do you really have to steal their playground equipment?

6. Stay trashy Kansas City.

7. McCain goes on suicide mission. I am sure this year of all years he will be especially well received by the NAACP.

8. Hip Hop fashion police hit Jersey.

9. Dementia and viagra lead to the arrest of a 94 year old man looking for Ho's.

IT'S TIME TO GO AND TAKE YOUR HO

The first time people attempted to get rid of the Mayor of KCMO I was against it. I thought it was strictly racially motivated and payback for the whole Minutemen controversy. This time I believe that the people of KCMO are right, this clown needs to go away and never look back.

Never before have I seen a mayor mishandle his office the way that Funkhouser has. This guy makes Barney Fife look competent, his wife reminds me of an uglier version of Rosie O'Donell(but just as big of a bitch) and the two of them together are a complete and utter mess. I would rather attend a KCMOSD PTO meeting than listen to this guy talk about the unfair treatment of his wife.

But lets not stop there, you guys need to get rid of your City Manager too. He is just as petty and useless as the mayor. I am not sure what "city planning" this guy has done but the East Side still sucks, the river area is still underutilized, midtown needs a face lift, 18th and Vine is sinking and Union Station cant support itself. What POSITIVE move has this guy made?

The political situation that KCMO is in right now is the perfect example of how a crappy school district can effect a whole community. When you have a population base with a 50% drop out rate do you really expect them to make an informed decission? Hell no, otherwise they would stop paying for JOCO residents to drink and play in their city while they pick up the bill on the venues. Lets face it, even if you do get this guy out of office the people of KCMO aren't capable of replacing him with anyone competent. Sadly the population base of NKC can't overcome that of the wasteland across the river.

In conclusion, your screwed either way. Atleast this way there is something to talk about right?

AWESOME DAY IN KCK (that should be their slogan)

I for one am glad that Kansas City doesn't have a gang problem.

1. Why use a gun when a grenade is much more effective(if you know how to use it)? It is good to see that KCK is advancing to grenades as KCMO regresses to knives.

2. Parallel to what? Hell? This is the shooting that brought on the grenade attack.

3. KCMO man gets face lift from a 9mm.

4. Cut liver, blood in urine and messed up kidneys and spleen for the kids of this East Side mom.

5. People aren't the only things screwed in KCK.

6. JOCO juveniles go Hi Tech and stupid.

7. Another Ho bust in Lenexa.

8. If you were a peeping tom would you really target a Sears Dressing room? Good god some people have no standards.

9. When one thinks about prostitution the first place they think is Carbondale, Ks.

10. Roof prices are about to skyrocket!